未央歌‧不了琴

She rises from her bed and goes into the bathroom. Leonard is already up; he may already be at work. In the bathroom, she washes her face. She does not look directly into the oval mirror that hangs above the basin. She is aware of her reflected movements in the glass but does not permit herself to look. The mirror is dangerous; it sometimes shows her the dark manifestation of air that matches her body, takes her form, but stands behind, watching her, with porcine eyes and wet, hushed breathing.

起身之後她進了浴室。李奧已經起床了，也許正在工作。在浴室裡，她開始洗臉，她的視線避開了洗臉盆上方橢圓形的鏡子，她可以隱約感覺到鏡子裡反射出的一舉一動，但她不許自己看。鏡子是危險的，有時她會在鏡子裡看見一團陰鬱晦暗的空氣開始成型，逐漸變成她的形體、有著跟她一模一樣的長相，就在那裡站著，用貪婪的眼睛盯著她，無聲地吐納著潮濕的氣息。  

She washes her face and does not look, certainly not this morning, not when the work is waiting for her and she is anxious to join it the way she might join a party that had already started downstairs, a party full of wit and beauty certainly but full, too, of something finer than wit or beauty; something mysterious and golden; a spark of profound celebration, of life itself, as silks rustle across polished floors and secrets are whispered under the music. She, Virginia, could be a girl in a new dress, about to go down to a party, about to appear on the stairs, fresh and full of hope. No, she will not look in the mirror. She finishes washing her face.

她洗臉但是不看鏡子，尤其是這個早晨，尤其當有工作正等著她，而她迫不及待地想開始進行，這急切就好似她急著下樓去參加一場已經開始的宴會：充滿風趣言談、優美儀態，甚至充滿比風趣和優美更美好細緻的東西，一些不可思議、亮閃閃的東西：絲質的裙擺窸窣拂過打亮的地板、音樂流轉間的秘密私語，一場歡慶生命的輝煌盛宴。她，維吉妮亞，可以是那個穿上新衣準備參加樓下宴會的女孩，她的身影將要出現在階梯上，雀躍而充滿期待，她可以是那個女孩的。不，她不會看鏡子，她洗好臉了。 

from Michael Cunningham’s “The Hours”

 endlesssong 翻譯於2005/01/08